The family vacation home—it’s something your parents bought with the hopes of keeping your family together, even after you’d grown. Unfortunately, when your parents are gone, that vacation home often becomes the one thing that you and your siblings disagree on most. You may want to keep the home, but your siblings may prefer to sell it and use the proceeds for something else. So how do you resolve your differences, particularly if your parents have simply left the property to you jointly?
One approach that’s gaining traction among estate planning and administration attorneys is the concept of transformative mediation. In this approach, the parties bring in a neutral third party tasked with helping them find a solution that’s beneficial to everyone involved.
Experts say the key to success in transformative mediation is to get the parties to change their thinking—when siblings can see their relationships differently, they customarily find it easier to resolve their differences. They also note that, when dealing with family property, finances or assets, there’s often a sense of obligation or emotional attachment that can complicate things. More often than not, the mediation sessions bring out longstanding grievances, but experienced mediators say that doing so is the first step toward reconciliation. It’s not uncommon for families to find solutions to their disputes years after the mediation process, but the first steps in moving toward resolution came as a result of mediation.
Experienced mediators caution that it’s a slow process and participants need to be patient. In addition, it can be fairly expensive.
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